How child abusers trick kids

Laughing and pointing Grownups are bigger than kids and as much as you hate to admit it, they are smarter too (even though they don’t always act like it). And they can be very tricky. Grownups that abuse kids are the trickiest of all. It’s sad because a kid is not old enough to be able to tell that they are being tricked. It’s not the kid’s fault that they cannot tell they are being tricked – that’s just the way it is. A grownup tricking a kid is not nice.

There are lots of ways the grownup can trick the kid into thinking that their abuse is OK or trick the kid into thinking the kid should not tell someone about the abuse. Even though what they are doing to the kid is wrong they might trick the kid into thinking it is right.  Or they might tell the kid all kinds of reasons why the kid should not tell anyone about the things they are doing to the child.  It does not matter what the grownup says. If they are hurting you, by hitting you, being mean to you, or sexually abusing you, then you need to tell someone about it. There is NOT A SINGLE REASON for you to keep it a secret – no matter what the grownup says.

Examples of grownup tricks

Again, there are a million ways for a grownup to trick a kid. These are just examples. There are a lot more that are not listed (if you know of a trick then post it in the comments below).

TRICK: “I’ll go to jail if you tell”
The grownup tells the kid that they cannot tell anyone because they will go to jail.
THE TRUTH: When you tell the grownup will get the help that they need. They may or may not go to jail – nobody knows that. If they do go to jail, they will get help for their problem. If you don’t tell, they’ll keep hurting you and other kids.
TRICK: “This is how I show you I love you”
I’m touching you like this or doing this to you because I love you.
THE TRUTH: This is not true. Grownups do not sexually abuse kids because they love them. They do it because they have no control over their feelings. This is a problem that needs to be fixed and to fix it, you need to tell someone about what is happening.
TRICK: “I will hurt you”
If you tell anyone about his I will hurt you, or your mother, or your brother or sister. They may even show you how they can hurt someone.
THE TRUTH: If you tell someone about the abuse, important people will show up and make sure that the grownup does NOT hurt you, or your mother, or your brother or sister. Yes, they may be able to hurt you or your family now but they will not be able to hurt anyone after you have told someone about the abuse.
TRICK: “This is a secret between me and you and you should not tell anyone our secret”
The grownup tells the kid that what they are talking about or doing is a secret.  They may tell the kid that he/she should not tell anyone, especially do not tell your parents.
THE TRUTH: Sharing a secret with someone is pretty cool.  It makes you feel special or like the person you have the secret with really likes you.  But you should be able to tell your parent about any secret that the grownup told you.  Grownups do not normally share secrets with kids because responsible grownups know kids should not be pressured into keeping something a secret.
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