From the mouth of an abuser: Parents are so naive. They’re worried about strangers and should be worried about their brother-in-law. They just don’t realize how devious we can be. I used to abuse children in the same room with their parents and they couldn’t see it or didn’t seem to know it was happening. Read the devious methods child abusers use to “groom” their victims in preparation for the abuse.
Category: For Adults
Physical indicators of sexual abuse are not always present and in fact, most examinations of sexually abused prepubertal girls result in normal examination findings due to the elasticity of the hymenal tissue and rapid healing of any injuries that may have occurred during the sexual abuse. Long term problems resulting from sexual abuse are rare but may include gastrointestinal disorders such as irritable bowel syndrome, non-ulcer dyspepsia, or chronic abdominal pain. Occasionally gynecological disorders may persist such as chronic pelvic pain, dysmenorrheal, or menstrual irregularities.
Emotional abuse, or psychological maltreatment, is a fairly common form of child abuse but one that is often difficult to identify or categorize. Although complex and difficult to define, experts agree that occasional negative actions or responses to a child are not considered emotional abuse (we all lose our heads at times and say things we regret later). Regardless, even occasional emotional abuse may be harmful to the child. As Douglas Besharov states in Recognizing Child Abuse, “emotional abuse is an assault on the child’s psyche, just as physical abuse is an assault on the child’s body.”
One of the most effective methods of therapy is Trauma Focused Cognitive Behavior Therapy or TF-CBT (TFCBT). Trauma Focused Cognitive Behavior Theory is based on the theory that traumatic events produce information that is hard for the victim to categorize, process, and fit into their existing scheme. When a child cannot truly comprehend a traumatic event, the strong emotions that resulted from the traumatic event are left unprocessed. When the child attempts to process the information, they may either distort the facts to fit within the realm of what they already know or understand, or they may alter their beliefs to fit the unprocessed information into their existing scheme. Either is bad. It leads to guilt, shame, self-blame, and a host of other problems. To counter this, the child must be taught how to deal with the confusing emotions in order to correct maladaptive beliefs.
Finding out your child, or any child, has been sexually abused sends waves of anger, hurt, and despair throughout your body. You must remain in control though and keep your emotions in check, especially when in front of the child. If the child made the disclosure herself then this is all the more important. When you discover that your child has been sexually abused, follow these steps.
Many offenders may not know that like murder, there is often no statute of limitations on sexual child abuse in some states. In other states, the statute of limitations kicks in starting when the child becomes a legal adult. So its possible that criminal charges could still be filed.. This means an abused child can come forward much later in life and still prosecute and in many instances, imprison the abuser.
One of the most frustrating and puzzling aspects of the child abuse epidemic is the childâ€™s tendency to accept the abuse and not tell anyone. Nearly 75% of abused children do not disclose their abuse within the first year and 20% wait five or more years before telling anyone. This is all the more frustrating when you consider that non-disclosure allows the abuser to continue his acts unabated. The reasons for non-disclosure, the ramifications the abuser experiences afterwards, and the reasons why disclosure is so critically important are varied.